RELATIONSHIP – The Five Love Languages
RELATIONSHIP – The Five Love Languages

RELATIONSHIP – The Five Love Languages

{3¾min read}

The Five Love Languages

“The 5 Love Languages” was published by Gary Chapman in the early 90s and the idea is fairly simple.

Each of us has preferences for the ways we show and feel love, and these languages effect how we interact in ALL of our relationships.






Every part of our lives can be improved by learning more about our ‘love languages.’

So what exactly are the five love languages?

* Quality Time
* Words of Affirmation
* Gifts
* Acts of Service
* Affection (physical touch)

→ What

Quality Time is focused interactions

undivided empathetic attention and reflective listening
intentional engagement in mutually enjoyable activities

→ Hear / Speak
+ Undivided attention
+ Active listening
+ Eye contact
+ Body language
+ Planner

→ How
The Time Lords.

Wanting things to run smoothly, enjoying long conversations, listening much more than it seems like, lots of eye contact, happy to do almost anything as long as it’s with you and you are both completely there. Living in the present moment, spending time on you and going deep, that’s the life of us who call quality time our love language!

– Complain about time spent together

– Multitasking
– Demanding too much time
– Lose track of time
– Late because of spending time elsewhere

→ What

Words of Affirmation

regularly communicating affection
express kindness
make requests (rather than being demanding)

→ Hear / Speak
+ Empathy
+ Depth
+ Open and Honest
+ Encouragement
+ Express care & love

→ How
The Talkers. That’s usually these people.

“I miss you”, “I love you”, “you’re doing so great!”, verbal encouraging, great with replying to text and social, compliments, “you’re doing so well, just keep going”, always saying words that make you feel good. We who use words enjoy nothing more than brightening someone’s day with a word of affirmation, it’s our love language!.

– Hurting people with words

– Overly critical
– Intense teasing
– Manipulative
– Stonewalling as a punishment

→ What

Gifts are visual cues

little visual messages that you are being thought of
these could be bought, found or created!

→ Hear / Speak
+ Thoughtful presents
+ Paying constant attention
+ Surprise you
+ Mementos
+ Craft an experience

→ How
The Christmas Wizards. That’s usually these people.

Thoughtful presents, that one thing we have be hunting for years, a symbol of the relationship in gift form, the perfect delivery. We gift givers go all out. We watch, we wait, we plan, and we deliver an entire experience that can be cherished for the long term. That’s the life of us who call gift giving our love language!

– Expecting gifts

– High standards receiving gifts
– Apathetic gifts when hurt

→ What

Acts of Service

practical actions (dishes, car tire, mowing)

→ Hear / Speak
+ Helpful
+ Do things for you
+ Literally serve you
+ Do chores & maintenance
+ Free your time

→ How
The Movers. That’s usually these people.

Mowing your yard, helping you move, loading the dish washer, bringing you fuel when you break down, any way to make your life easier. We live to serve, that’s life for those of us with the act of service love language!

– Fix something that isn’t broken

– Overstep personal boundaries
– Use time doing things for instead of with you

→ What

Affection / Physical touch.

Tactile expressions of love
Hugs, Pats on the shoulder
a warm hand on the back of someone with a cold heart.

→ Hear / Speak
+ Touching
+ Holding hands
+ Hugs
+ Sitting closely
+ Tickling

→ How
The Huggers. That’s usually these people.

High fives, knuckles, side hugs, pats on the shoulder, rubbing the back, any way that we can physically connect with people is this love language’s forte!

– Triggering trauma

– Feeling unloved without contact
– Seen as needy
– Weird in public
– Easily rejected without a thought.

We each speak and hear through these 5 love languages.

Listen for the clues and try speaking the language of people you care about.
I guarantee your relationships with grow!
Find out more or take the free test at

For more on how to use the 5 Love Languages in Parenting check this article out!

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1 year ago

[…] Quality Time* Words of Affirmation* Gifts* Acts of Service* Affection (physical […]

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